The Dating Game
by quickand2thepointless
Summary: Modern AU. Ranulf, forever a thorn in Soren's side, gives Ike a dating simulation game with a character resembling Soren. Extreme fluffiness ensues. Ike/Soren one shot.


**A/N: **Um, hello. *comes creeping out of my Ike/Soren hiatus* Hello again! It's been a little less than a year since I have written for this pairing, and it feels good to be back to two of my favorite FE characters! I, uh, actually meant to write sooner, but kind of got swept up in a massive Dragon Age fic that has been monopolizing a good deal of my writing time. Whoops! Anyways, it's time for me to get back now, and I actually have a lineup of one shot ideas I've been meaning to get to, this being the first.

This slightly unusual AU came to me when playing Sakura Wars, which has a few dating sim elements, and I randomly brought it up with my fellow FE friend who demanded I write about it and wouldn't shut up until I did (much like Ranulf). So thanks to her persistence, here it is. Hope I haven't gotten rusty and that you all still enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the FE-verse, but if I did, it would be very slashy like this... but with swords and magic and paladins, of course.

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**The Dating Game.**

Ike was much too friendly for his own good, Soren decided.

This, at least, was the only logical explanation he could come up with when he attempted to rationalize why someone in their right mind would willingly respond to Ranulf's hour long tirade about his insatiable boredom with a nonchalant, "Well, why don't you come over here whenever need something to do?". He hadn't given it a moment's thought or consulted Soren or even paused to realize what having Ranulf wandering around their small apartment at random hours of the day would be like in before answering. All he saw before him was a friend in need of something within his powers to give, and he extended himself obligingly much as he always did.

It wasn't really something Soren could hate him for, especially not when he considered all of the good Ike's inherent kindness had brought upon him, but he could not deny the occasional— or, in all honesty, _frequent__—_ pangs of resentment he felt whenever he saw Ranulf slouched on their coach or eating the pancakes Soren had made for Ike at their table. Not for the first time, he wished Ike would be selective with his affectionate gestures, bestowing them only upon the people who truly needed them. Like Soren, for example. And certainly not Ranulf.

Today Ranulf had arrived at their apartment at eleven in the morning armed with a sizable stack of free video game samples he'd received from a magazine subscription— Cat Fancy or Kitty Gamer, probably; Soren could never keep the names straight. Ike had still been asleep, but Mist and Titania and Soren were awake and cooking breakfast when the feline barged in and immediately threw open Ike's door and pulled him out of bed. Anyone else would have been killed if they tried that, but Ranulf somehow managed to get away with it with only a half hearted smack across the face, which he of course managed to duck and avoid.

"Ranulf has charisma," Titania had sighed indulgently when she noted Soren's apoplectic expression. "It makes it hard to be annoyed with him."

_I manage on a regular basis, _Soren had wanted to tell her. _It seems as if it's all I ever do these days._

After Ike finished his breakfast and coffee, the two of them had plopped down on the floor, leaned up against the couch, and started up one of the games, a platformer featuring a plucky meatball who for some reason felt obligated to leap up walls and over chainsaws to rescue a pink cube with a daisy on her head. Soren hated the slippery sounds of the meatball as he slid across the screen, as well as the decisive splat whenever he fell prey to a stray chainsaw, but he stayed in the room to supervise anyways, pretending to read the newspaper while actually carefully monitoring the direction of their conversation.

"You suck at this game," Ranulf announced after Ike fell into a fire pit five times in a row. "Some knight in shining armor you are. Looks like I'm going to be the one to rescue the, uh, whatever she is."

"I can't help it," Ike said indifferently. "The graphics are making me hungry."

"Dude, you just ate, right? Your usual four course breakfast feast?"

"Would you like me to get you something else?" Soren asked, setting aside his paper for a moment.

"Oh, no, that's fine." Ike smiled up at Soren, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You don't need to trouble yourself."

"But if the offer still stands, I'm kind of in the mood for some chip and dip," Ranulf added, giving Soren a quick wink as if he already knew what the answer would be.

"Get it yourself."

"Aha. I see how it is."

Ranulf took Ike's controller and tried a few times to rescue the pink cube in distress, but ended up falling into the same fire pit that had defeated Ike. With an indifferent laugh, he suggested moving on to the next game and worrying about the fate of the meatball world later. Ike shrugged and said he would be up for whatever.

"Hmm, which one is this?" Ranulf muttered to himself as he picked up the second CD. "Oh my gosh, this one is perfect for you, Ike. 'Summer Love'. It's one of those dating simulation games. Now we can find out the real reason why you've never had a girlfriend."

Soren dropped the newspaper his lap and began coughing. Ike merely lifted an eyebrow.

"Dating simulation," he echoed, his voice devoid of any particular inflection. "What, will I be taking some fictional character out for burgers and fries, or something?"

"What you do on your date is all up to you, bro. Honestly, I'm just interested in whether you have the social skills to retain a girl's heart or if you really are as hopeless as you seem. That's the kind of information I could get people like Aimee to buy off of me, you know."

"You have to be joking," Soren groaned underneath his breath.

"Nope. I'm dead serious." He leaned forward, resting his head against Soren's knee. "Don't tell me you're not at all interested in what will happen. Maybe you can pick up a few tips to woo a certain someone yourself, huh?"

Soren slammed his knee against Ranulf's cheek, warding him away. "Don't say anything else," he said sharply, clenching his hands into fists and wrinkling the newpaper into a sloppy mess.

"Who are you two referring to?" Ike asked, glancing away from the flashy title screen of a full harem of girls grinning widely in miniskirts and tank tops to gaze curiously at both Soren and a swollen faced Ranulf.

"If you don't know, it's really not my place to tell you," Ranulf said without much subtlety. "Now go on and pick yourself a hottie so we can see what a date with Ike is like. I'm expecting some pretty epic fireworks, so don't disappoint."

Ike lazily scrolled down the list. The first few girls were stereotypical: a busty blonde, an earthy brunette, and a freckled red head with a sheepish smile. Further down were a few girls who eerily reminded Soren of Elincia and Aimee, but Ike passed up on them as well, muttering something under his breath about girls these days being underfed.

"I don't know," Ike said finally, tossing the controller back to Ranulf. "You pick for me."

"Dude, you're not even half way down the list yet!"

"I don't know," Ike repeated. "This is more your sort of thing, isn't it?"

"You really are hopeless, you know that?" Ranulf accepted the controller and scanned the images thoroughly, skipping over the small chested girls in favor of the ones with fuller figures and longer hair. He eventually settled on a athletic girl with sky blue hair and wide eyes, deeming her the sexiest of the bunch. Soren thought she looked a little bit like Ranulf through the face, but it was only natural that the vain feline would choose someone he resembled as the best looking.

The screen loaded, and the image of the girl showed up on the screen wearing what amounted to a black sports bra with pink sports. "Hiya," she said in a perky voice, sticking out her hand. "My name is Candy. What's yours?"

"Candy?" Soren sniffed in disgust. "Could this get any cheesier?"

Ranulf chuckled. "Oh, just you wait for that. It does, it really does!"

Ike typed in his name, and the girl gave an automatic giggle and told him that she liked it.

"Oh, she says that for all the boys," Ranulf interrupts with a smirk. "Now where are you going to take her, Ike? She seems up for the gym or walk in the park, huh?"

"Hmm." Ike shuffled through his list of options, which was surprisingly thorough. He could go to a patisserie or an antique shop or even clothes shopping, if his sanity could take it. He skipped over the cliché walk in the park option to Ranulf's dismay, but landed on the last item on the list, which read 'Zach's Local Steakhouse'.

"Winner," Ike announced, clicking OK on the screen. Ranulf gazed at him in mock horror.

"You do realize this is a _girl_ you're taking out, and not yourself, right?"

"Plenty of girls like steak."

"Oh yes, and I'm sure plenty of girls enjoy eating at messy places on their first dates. But whatever you say, man."

Candy had a similar reaction as Ranulf. Her pert little mouth twitched in disapproval momentarily and she said, "But isn't that—" before shaking her head and submitting to Ike's wishes. "All right. If that's what you want."

"Sure is."

The screen moved to a dimly lit bar with a line of booths surrounded by walls filled with a hodgepodge of knick knacks. It looked exactly like a place downtown Ike dragged Soren to on a regular basis, but with the added benefit of having a mustachioed and muscular man bar-tending rather than Shinon. _At least he'll be comfortable here_, Soren thought to himself, forgetting for a moment that the scenario was fictional.

"There aren't a lot of healthy things on the menu," Candy pointed out with a frown. "I guess I'll have a salad and water."

Ike barely glanced at the other options before picking, "That's it?". Ranulf snicked behind his hands.

"I'm a fitness instructor," Candy said, her frown deepening as 'you messed up!' music played mournfully in the background. "I can't go around consuming too many calories, can I? So what are you having?"

"Steak," Ike indicated as soon as it showed up on the screen. "And fries and a milkshake," he added for Ranulf and Soren's benefit.

"Steak? Um, okay." Candy pursed her lips and a new list of options appeared on the screen.

Ranulf laughed gleefully. "I can already tell what he's going to pick. This is too good."

Ike, obligingly, clicked on the option saying, "I'll give you some of mine. You need more meat on your bones."

"You do know what a fitness instructor is, right?" Ranulf asked in between his hearty giggles.

"Yeah. I work out."

"Clearly not in the way that girls do."

Ike watched as Candy's eyes narrowed and face twisted into an annoyed pout at his 'meat on your bones' remark. "What's her problem?" he said in genuine confusion. "Everyone needs a steak now and then!"

Soren vividly remembered hearing the very same words last time he was at a steakhouse with Ike right before a generous helping of meat was forced onto his plate against his will. But Candy was less accepting than he was, and dutifully kept to her salad and water.

Ike scored a few approval points with Candy over dinner due to his enjoyment of sports and training, and even got Candy to smile a little when he offered to pay for the whole check. The date moved along to the cinema, where Ike then proceeded to lose a record amount of approval by ordering extra butter on his popcorn and forgetting to defer to his date when selecting which movie they would see. Even Soren had to laugh when Ike chose the "Why are you clinging to me?" option when Candy moved in closer during a scary part in the film.

"Well, Aimee's sure going to be disappointed," Ranulf said as the date moved into the final 'goodnight' stage. "For such a nice guy, you're really not much of a gentleman. I can't wait to see what you do here."

"That date was... interesting," Candy informed Ike, her voice half way between seductive and annoyed. "So, I guess it's time to say goodnight."

"Yup," Ike said. If it had been real life, he probably would have turned his back and headed towards the apartment without any further ado.

"No kiss?" Candy pressed, blinking in surprise.

"Huh? Why?" Ike said out loud. As soon as the words "Why?" appeared on screen, he clicked them immediately.

"Classy! Classy!" Ranulf laughed as Candy swung her palm around the screen, delivering a slap to the offensive player. "Way to go, Ike. That has to be the worst excuse for a date I've ever seen. You really have a way with the ladies."

"But what did I do wrong?" Ike asked, actually surprised to be virtually slapped. "She was the one being weird. Who would kiss someone they barely even know?"

"Only you would ask that, you know," Ranulf snorted. "Want to try again? Because I picked the girl, she was more my type. Maybe you'd have better luck if you chose yourself. You have to have some sort of type, right?"

"Type?"

"Of girl. Or soul mate. Whatever you want to call it."

"Hmm."

Ike scrolled through the images, skipping over the Elincia and Aimee types again and at last pausing on a petite girl with long black hair and pale white skin. Soren squinted at the screen. The girl, named Sumire, looked almost androgynous. Instead of a mini or sports bra, she was wearing jeans paired with a long white sleeve shirt and a black vest. She had no discernible chest, and her face wasn't either delicate or firm, but simply smooth and almost expressionless. _That almost looks like..., _Soren started to think to himself, but he cut himself off quickly. _No. No way. Don't fool yourself._

"Just to alert you, Ike, but I think that's a dude," Ranulf pointed out, casting a glance at Soren out of the corner of his eye.

"Sumire is a girl's name," Soren said quickly in Ike's defense.

"That doesn't change the fact that she looks a lot like a certain young man we're all familiar with, _right Soren?"_

"Shut up," Soren hissed desperately, but Ike didn't seem to be listening. He was gazing up at the image of Sumire, thoughtful, considering.

"She looks smart," Ike said finally. "Put together."

"So Ike likes the smart, put together type. Sound like anyone we know, Soren?"

"Shut up."

Ike glanced from Ranulf to Soren in confusion. "So, uh, should I give it a shot?"

"Go for it, man," Ranulf said, giving him a thumbs up. "If she's anything like who she looks like, this might actually go well." (_"Shut up," Soren advised him)._

Sumire, unlike Candy, proved to be a bit more aloof and less forthcoming. She didn't say she liked Ike's name and she didn't smile, but she had a sort of wistful look to her eyes which Ranulf once again asked out loud if anyone else thought was familiar in his usual unsubtle way.

"Are you going to a steakhouse again?" Soren asked Ike softly as he once again scrolled through his date options.

"Nah, once was enough in one day." He paused for a moment, looking up at Soren. "If it were you, where would you like to go? Bookstore? Cafe?"

"W-why are you asking?"

"Her personality reminds me a bit of you when we first met. You would want to go to a bookstore, right?"

"And so he finally noticed," Ranulf murmured under his breath in amusement.

"Yes..." Soren said, answering Ike's question. "But this isn't about me. You're playing a game."

"I know, but I want to do things in the right order this time. This may translate to real life eventually." He shuffled down the list and selected the option to ask the girl where she wanted to go.

Sumire blushed a little and stammered out, "W-well then, how about the bookstore?"

Ike laughed lightly, the corners of his lips raising. "She's shy like you, Soren. Cute."

"Did you hear that, Soren?" Ranulf called out in an unnecessarily loud voice. "Ike thinks you're—"

"Shut up!"

Sumire and Ike moved to the library, where Sumire dropped her cold attitude and softened a little bit around the stacks of books surrounding her. She honed in on the nonfiction section and began telling Ike about her special passion— military history— while Ike supplied her with encouraging questions as he nodded along in his post against the couch. The 'you are totally hooking this girl' music played over and over again as Sumire grew more comfortable talking to Ike, the volume of her voice— also not particularly feminine or masculine either way, Soren noted— increasing little by little.

As Sumire winded down her mini lecture, Ike turned back to Soren. "Wow, I thought you were the only person who got into stuff like that. You always hold back from talking too much about it, but that was actually kind of interesting."

"Watch out, Soren, Ike seems to be falling in love with your twin sister," Ranulf added helpfully.

"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up before you'll actually do it?"

Ranulf stuck out his tongue.

Ike once again deferred to Sumire when moving to the second stage of the date, who surprised everyone by suggesting a quick burger run before calling it a night. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were downcast, but she looked happy. Soren's hands strayed to his face. Did he ever look like that around Ike? Had he ever revealed so much, and if he did, did Ike understand now what it possibly meant?

"I'm almost beginning to wish this was real life," Ike said as he ordered a burger, fries, and a milkshake. "That is one delicious looking burger. What's with all the food games today, Ranulf?"

Ranulf hummed the 'you messed up!' song for Ike's benefit. "Pay attention to your date. There are things more important in life than food."

Sumire, like Candy, ordered a salad and apple slices, but unlike her more lively counterpart, she quietly accepted the bites of food Ike offered her. "So skinny," Ike murmured. He reached up and looped his thumb and middle finger around Soren's slim wrist. "Why don't people eat anything these days?"

"Um, Ike..." Soren whispered. He didn't want Ike's hands anywhere near his pulse point. His heart was beating loudly, not loudly enough for Ike to hear, but certainly enough for him to feel.

"Mmm?"

"N-nevermind." Ike's fingers hadn't strayed away from him yet, and he didn't want to make a big deal about it or even admit to the fact that they were touching to begin with. Ranulf would have a field day with that one.

After Ike payed the check (Sumire protested and gave in, looking vexed but still pleased), the goodnight stage began again. Soren leaned forward. He didn't think Sumire would ask for a kiss like Candy— he certainly wouldn't in this situation— but then again, these games were made to fulfill fantasies, and Ike was the only person he could think of who wouldn't assume a kiss was the natural conclusion to mutually enjoyed date. He wondered what Ike would choose if the option was offered. Probably another "Huh? Why?" but he didn't want to see how Sumire would react to the dismissal. It would hit too close to home and touch upon a raw nerve to endure the sight of a face like his fighting back the feelings Soren had kept protected for as long as he had known Ike.

"So..." Sumire said, awkwardly. "Thank you. I h-had a good time."

"Yeah, me too," Ike selected. He realized at this point that he was still holding on to Soren's arm and slowly let his hand fall back to the controller.

"So... goodnight?" Sumire closed her eyes and turned her face away slightly, her ears turning pink.

Three options appeared on the screen: 1) Kiss her, 2) Go Home, and 3) Ask for a phone number.

"Dude, kiss her!" Ranulf said, giving Ike a smack on the back.

"Isn't it too soon?" Ike asked, his gentlemanly instincts finally kicking in. "That's all right after one date?"

"Don't sit around and wait when the chemistry is there. Seize the moment." Ranulf leaned over Ike's shoulder and poked option one with his finger. "Take note, Soren!"

Soren rose to his feet, his fists clenched and an invisible aura of doom surrounding him so potently that Ranulf worried that smoke might come spouting out of his head as the television screen made the sound of smacking lips and Sumire turned a violent red and began stammering, "W-what? Are you sure this is okay?"

Ranulf laughed nervously. "Hmm, would you look at the time, it's about one minute until Soren slaughters me, and I'd hate to be around for that. Gotta go, see you later!" He snatched up the rest of his CDs, and with a parting smirk directed at Soren, flounced out of the room and through the front door.

"Why won't he just shut up?" Soren snarled, trembling. He collapsed back into the armchair, covering his face with his hands.

"Don't take it to heart. That's just how he is." Ike shut off the TV as the disembodied voice of the game informed him he'd received the good ending. "I think he forgot that he left one of his games in my console."

"Ranulf knows too much about that stuff without any help," Soren mutters, his eyes still covered. "He probably wants you to play through all the girls so you can officially determine your 'type'."

"I thought we already did that." One of Ike's hands snaked up Soren's arms, gently nudging his palms away from his face. "Hey," he said.

"Yes?"

"Are you upset?"

"With Ranulf? Yeah. He's such a nuisance. Always doing and saying unnecessary things. Why do you keep inviting him over?"

Ike shrugged, then said, "Don't think about him. You don't need to have such a sad face." His hand dropped to the corner of Soren's mouth, which he gently teased upwards. "By the way, are you doing anything today?"

"Studying, but not until later. Other than that, nothing in particular."

"Do you want to go out to lunch at that steakhouse and go to the bookstore afterward? Or," Ike amended quickly, "whatever it is you would like to do?"

Soren stared down at Ike for a long minute, realizing in horror that his skin was already darkening. "Do you mean...?" he began, but he couldn't say the word. He couldn't imagine himself in the same setting as Sumire, charming and being charmed. They looked alike, but he just didn't fit. Even without a chest or the typical feminine qualities, Sumire was still a girl, safe and acceptable, while Soren was Soren. He didn't belong in the world of dates and goodnight kisses, and he couldn't imagine that Ike was trying to place him in one, redefining their friendship into a realm of no return.

Ike's hand rose again, this time brushing against the red tips of his ears. "I really did it right this time, huh?" Ike said softly, almost too low for Soren to hear. "So beautiful." He lifted his head a little higher for a moment, but lowered it again, seeming to think the better of whatever he had in mind. "So," he said instead. "Are we going together?"

"D-do you really think you can reuse things you learned from a dating simulation on me?" Soren sputtered.

"You mean all that practice I did for you was for nothing?" Ike's shoulders slumped a little, but he was still smiling. He knew Soren too well. For all his show of disgust and bluster, there was one word Soren could never say to Ike, and that was 'no'.

"Practice," Soren echoed blandly in disbelief. "For me."

"Yes. Ranulf is right. I am hopeless, and I need all the help I could get. And now that I kind of have my bearings about what it could be like, I want to see what it _is _like. With you. I'll try to get it right, so please. Come with me."

Soren closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was real life. Not a game. Not a fake scenario where the system could be shut down and restarted when a mistake was made. He only had one chance to do this. He could misstep, he could say the wrong thing and hear the dreadful 'you messed up!' song jingling in his head. Or he could stop. Nothing could happen. He could content himself with never knowing, never reaching the good ending, never reaching the breathless goodnight stage. Never paying a cost, but never reaching what he wanted even if it was for once in his reach, for once being offered rather than distantly longed for.

He opened his eyes. He felt his mouth moving to form an answer, his cheeks tinging a shade darker, his eyes straying away so he would not have to face Ike's, at least not now. He felt a pulse rushing against his ears, first his own and then from Ike's wrist, which was still resting beside his face. He felt happy. Afraid and queasy, too, but happy.

_A first date, huh, _Soren thought to himself, as the feeling of dizziness spread throughout his body. _I wonder if I'll get the goodnight kiss, too._

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**A/n: **Thanks for reading! Comments would be appreciated since it's been awhile since I've done this pairing, but most of all I hope you enjoyed!


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